With Friends Like These...
by Bee
Summary: Scully's interfering friend comes to visit, causing all sorts of chaos...


I'd just like to say that this is how sad I am...hi to everyone who knows me! And I never claimed to be original...!

TITLE: With Friends Like These, Who Needs Nuclear Warheads?

AUTHOR: Bee Slayer bee_slayer@hotmail.com

RATING: PG?

SPOILERS: FTF,

KEYWORDS: UST, probably MSR. I am *trying* not to get them together, but I have no willpower. So sue me.

CATEGORY: S, R, Hish

SUMMARY: Scully's friend comes to visit, and stirs up all kinds of trouble.

DISCLAIMER: Wow! I woke up this morning, looked in the mirror, and saw Chris Carter staring back at me! I have turned into CC! 

Okay, I'm lying, that didn't happen. So guess what, they're not mine. Angela is though, so he can keep his hands off her.

ARCHIVE: Yeah, but ask first.

MY CRAP: I have no idea what this is gonna be about, cos I've not written it yet.

It started of as one scene, and it kinda grew from there. I didn't even start at the beginning. I'm trying to steer clear of angsty-MSRs, so hopefully this won't turn out to be one. I don't even want to do an MSR, but I seem to be incapable of not getting them together. If I can restrain myself, expect a UST. There is no way I'll be able to write a fanfic without referring to the fact that they love each other. One day I'm gonna try...

And I know my writing sucks! And I don't care! I'm gonna keep inflicting it on y'all!!! Bwhahahaaaaaa!!!!!!

Oh yeah, and Ron Brady is named after my *evil* geography teacher. He looks like a cross between Hitler and Sadam Hussein, and acts like both of them. Very scary man.

Dedicated to Rachel, for providing drunken inspiration, to Angela for backing me up over it, and to Jill for being Jill. g Also dedicated to that poor cat, who'll probably never be the same again...

********

Frankenstein & Dracula have nothing on you,

Jekyll & Hyde join the back of the queue,

The female of the species is more deadly than the male

Space - Female of the Species.

SUNDAY

Scully sighed in contentment. The sun was shining, she was actually out enjoying it, not stuck in the office, she had a cold drink (iced tea), a corny romance novel (The Jewels of Tessa Kent), and her favourite tape in her walkman (REM). What more could a woman want?

Someone to rub in the sunscreen?

Like a certain tall, dark, handsome partner?

She smiled at the image that brought up. It wasn't exactly an unpleasant thought, was it?

She started to hum along to her walkman, trying to clear her mind of the daydream brought about by the corny romance novel.

**His strong, muscular hands massaged her shoulders, kneading the tension out of her muscles. He leaned in to whisper in her ear...**

"Get a grip, Dana," she ordered herself. That was not a healthy thought, no matter how nice it was.

After all, she would hate to prove her mother right. Margaret Scully was convinced that her daughter and her partner were in love. So she *was* right, big deal, that wasn't the point.

Scully took a sip of her iced tea, and sighed again. She suddenly wasn't feeling so contented.

Two hands covered her eyes, and she heard a gentle male voice say, "guess who?"

Scully smiled, "umm, Pierce Brosnan?"

She heard him laugh, "too old."

"Okay, how about Michael J Fox?"

"Too small."

"Skinner?"

"Too bald. You're not very good at this, are you?"

Scully laughed, she couldn't help it. Her partner was very strange sometimes. "I guess not. You can move your hands now, Mulder."

He did, and sat down on the empty deck-chair thing beside her, "You're no fun."

She smiled at him, and removed her headphones.

"What are you doing here?"

"Your mom let me in. She said you were out here sunbathing." He frowned playfully, "is that really a good idea, with your colouring? I hope you're wearing plenty of sunscreen."

"Yes, mom." She tried to turn the conversation away from her sunbathing habits (especially as no, she probably wasn't wearing enough sunscreen) "So why are you here?"

"I bear glad tidings."

"Really? If it's about work, Mulder, I don't want to know. It's Sunday, it's a gorgeous day, and the reason I came to mom's was to get away from work."

"And to get away from me?" Mulder had his hurt puppy-dog face on.

Scully just rolled her eyes at him, "of course. So what did you want to tell me? It had better be good."

Mulder raised an eyebrow, and stole a sip of her iced tea. "You know, I really don't think I should tell you now. I mean, I come all the way up here, just to give you this good news, and you're rude to me."

"Mulder, your reverse psychology isn't going to work on me, so either go home, or tell me what you came to tell me. Okay? And will you lie down or something, you're blocking my sun."

"Fine." He made himself comfortable on the sun lounger.

"You know Ron Brady?"

She fixed him with A Look. "You mean the Ron Brady we just spent two weeks trying to track down? The Ron Brady that killed seven people with a particularly sharp nail file?" She still couldn't believe that, of all the weapons to choose, "The Ron Brady that broke into my apartment, tried to kill me and gave me YET another scar to add to my growing collection? The Ron Brady that refuses to admit it was him, because we have no hard evidence against him except for the break in at my place? That Ron Brady?"

Mulder gave her his own look; "there's no need to be sarcastic. Yes, that Ron Brady. Anyway, he confessed."

"He did?" She sat up in surprise, "When?"

"About three hours ago. I came straight up here, thought you'd want to know."

"I can't believe it! I thought he'd never confess."

"I know. Great ain't it?" Mulder's grin was contagious, she found a smile tugging at her own lips.

"And you came straight up here?"

"As I said, I figured you'd want to know."

Scully raised a curious eyebrow; "You couldn't have just called?"

"Yeah, but where's the fun in that? Besides, how could I pass up the chance to see Dana Scully in a bikini?"

Scully scoffed, "I'm not wearing a bikini, Mulder."

He shrugged, "I can dream, can't I?"

"Yeah, well keep dreamin' G-man."

Mulder picked up her book and made a face, "Oh, I will." He set it back down.

"Seriously though, I just wanted to tell you in person. It's good news, didn't seem right telling you over the phone."

Scully smiled at him affectionately. That was so sweet.

"Thanks." A thought occurred to her, "Mulder, how did you find out?"

When he said nothing, she glared at him, "You were there, weren't you? I thought we'd both agreed that we would take today off to recover, leave him to the other guys for today, and get back to it on Monday? You know Mulder, like a day off? I thought you were gonna go see your mother?" This was typical of him. She glared, not convince by his sheepish expression.

"I was, but I changed my mind."

"Mulder, you-"

"Look, I'm sorry Scully, but it's hard to just stand by when the guy tried to kill your partner, okay? You know me, I hate just standing by when I could be doing something."

He looked so apologetic, she hated it when she couldn't stay mad at him. "I swear to god, Mulder, you need a holiday."

He grinned, "I know. Sorry, *mom*."

Scully took in his appearance; he had more stubble than usual, making him look very sexy. She tried to steer herself away from those thoughts. Something clicked.

"You didn't leave last night, did you?"

His guilty look was answer enough.

"You stayed all night? Mulder-"

"Hey, it worked, didn't it? We got a confession out of him."

"That's not the point! The confession could have waited until tomorrow. And there was absolutely no need for you to stay the night."

Mulder couldn't help laughing.

"What's so funny?"

"You. I swear to god, Scully, you never change. I can remember you chewing me out about my sleeping habits 5 years ago. And you're still wasting your breath now. You don't give up, I'll give you that."

She resisted the urge to smile, what was the point of trying to stay mad at him? It was never gonna happen, he knew exactly how to sweet-talk her.

"I just worry about you, that's all."

"Yeah, and I worry about you. Which is why I stayed there all last night doing background checks and other crap on the guy. It was either that or I stayed with you last night."

Scully raised an eyebrow, she wouldn't have minded. Not that she'd ever let him know that, of course.

"...And I knew you wouldn't appreciate that, so I kept an eye on him."

"You really think he could have escaped right under their noses, Mulder?"

"Scully, this guy is *the* lock pick. It's amazing what you can do with a well sharpened nail file," he stifled the urge to laugh, the nail file thing got him every time. "And I have no doubt that he could have knocked out a couple of the guys there. Chief Watson, for one, hasn't been working out recently."

Scully bit back a grin, "That's cruel."

Mulder shrugged. "So how are you feeling?"

"I'm okay. My ankle hurts a bit, but apart from that, I'm fine."

Mulder scoffed, "How did I know you were gonna say that?"

She shrugged, "Looks like you're not the only predictable one round here then, doesn't it?"

Mulder smiled briefly and sat up, "I swear to god, Scully, I nearly killed him."

"I know you did. I was the one stopping you," their voices turned serious again.

"Maybe you shouldn't have."

"Mulder, you could have gone down for murder for that and you know it! There was no way I was going to let that happen."

"Yeah, Scully, if he tries anything again..."

"Not if I kill him first, Mulder. He tried to get you fired, I won't forget that."

"And I won't forget how you believed in me either."

Scully considered lying back down for a second, but decided against it. Mulder was really blocking the sun, there was no point.

"He really wasn't that convincing, Mulder."

Mulder raised his eyebrows, "Really? He almost had me convinced."

Scully smiled, "Yeah, well maybe I know you better than you know yourself."

He couldn't help smiling along with her, "Yeah, maybe you do."

As they sat there, smiling at each other, something changed.

His eyes darkened, and he slowly, cautiously leaned in towards her, watching her face carefully for any signs of rejection. He found none, only a look that told him she wanted this as much as he did. Her heart was racing, and she felt herself lean forward too, barely aware she was doing it.

He ran a finger down her cheek, and she wondered if he knew the effect that had on her. She felt suddenly dizzy, and closed the remaining gap between their lips.

She shut her eyes, feeling his breath on her mouth, and as their lips were just about to meet...

"Fox, do you want to stay for dinner, I..." Margaret Scully trailed off when she saw what she was interrupting.

Mulder drew back quickly, standing up, "Um, no thanks, Mrs Scully, I should be going."

"Oh, well if you're sure."

He gave Scully a meaningful look, feeling strangely dazed.

"I'll see you at work, then," he said, and smiled at Mrs Scully.

"Bye Mrs Scully."

"Goodbye Fox, it was nice to see you."

"You too."

Margaret gave Dana a look, "aren't you going to go after him, Dana?"

"Mom, don't interfere, okay?" 

Scully stood up also, a little surprised that she was capable. She was feeling more than slightly dazed. What the hell just happened?

She then frowned; she hated it when parents were right.

She broke into a run in the direction of Mulder.

She reached the gate just as he was opening the car door,

"Mulder!"

He turned around, not quite able to meet her eyes, "Didn't happen, okay Scully?"

She bit her lip, staring at him until he looked at her. His eyes flicked to the ground, the house behind her, his shoes. He eventually looked up, looking kind of sheepish.

She nodded slowly, "didn't happen. Got it."

She turned to go back inside; what was the point of staying out there with him.

"Scully!"

She stopped, and then spun slowly around.

The intensity in his eyes startled her.

*Hey,* she thought, *this silent communication thing sure has its benefits.*

His look told her everything. It told her that he didn't want to forget it happened, but didn't see any other solution.

She walked back to the house, leaving him standing there with the car door open, and a sad look on his face.

**X**

WEDNESDAY

"So what's he like? You know, in bed?"

Scully gazed blankly back at her friend, "Who?"

Angela had only with her almost 24 hours, and she hadn't shut up yet.

Things could only get worse.

"Mulder! Who else?"Scully nearly spat out her iced tea."I really wouldn't know.""What? You are seriously telling me that nothing's ever happened with you two?" Angela sounded incredulous."Yes, I'm seriously telling me that nothing's ever happened with us."

"Really?"

"Really. Would I lie to you, Ang?"

"But I mean, the way you two gaze at each other..."

"What? I do not gaze at Mulder."

"Really?"

"Really," Scully confirmed

"Well maybe you should." 

Scully looked at her. "Excuse me?"

"You heard me. I mean, he's gorgeous. Even you must see that."

"Of course I see it, but that's not the point."

"So what is the point?" Angela was certainly persistent, Scully had to give her that much.

"The point is that I just don't think of him that way. That's the point."

"Sure, Dana, whatever."

"You don't believe me?" It was at times like this that Scully was glad she only saw her old friend twice a year.

"I didn't say that I don't believe you, I just think you're fooling yourself, that's all."

"Look, Angela, I appreciate your concern, but I know the way I feel, and I can assure you that I am not in love with Mulder."

Angela grunted in acceptance. "It's probably just as well. Men are all pigs anyway."

Scully laughed at her sudden turn around, "don't you think that's a bit harsh?"

"With the experience I've had over the past couple of years? I think I'm letting the species off lightly."

"You can't write off the whole male population just because your ex boyfriend's a pig, Ang. You know that."

"Yeah, well. I haven't seen much to prove otherwise. Even my parents got divorced. True love? Right, that's a joke."

"You don't believe in true love?"

"Hmm...That would be a no." Angela took another sip of her coffee, not-so-subtly eyeing up a cute waiter.

"When did you turn into such a cynic?"

"Oh, please. Are you saying that you believe in all this true love crap?"

"Yes, actually." At Angela's doubting look, she carried on, "I'm not talking lust here, Angela, I'm talking about the real thing. When you know that you couldn't live without that person. You know that if they were to die, you couldn't just carry on with your life. Life wouldn't necessarily go on, but you would die too. Or at least fade away into nothing."

"You know, I'm starting to think that this true love stuff's just a heap of crap invented to trick everyone into thinking that life has a point."

"You are so cynical."

"Hey, you're hardly Ally McBeal. If I remember correctly, this used to be your attitude too. What gives?"

Scully shrugged, "So I changed my mind. It happens."

"Oh, please. Look, Dana, until I have evidence to prove evidence, I'm going to stick to the view that love sucks, and we are all destined to die alone."

They looked at each other, and burst out laughing. For someone who had more dates than Mulder had bad ties, Angela was certainly unconvinced about love.

"If you believe that people are destined to be alone, you must believe that certain people are destined to be together?"

"Why?"

"It makes sense."

Angela raised an eyebrow, "Excuse me if I've got this wrong, but last time we saw each other, wasn't it you who said that not everything in life makes sense?"

Dana sighed, "You're right, not everything does."

Angela tried a new track; "Do you have any evidence whatsoever to back up your true love theory?"

Dana gave her a weird look, her suspicions about her friend's motives mounting. "Are you telling me that you've never been in love, Ang?"

"No. I'm telling you that I *have* been in love, and it didn't work out because men are pigs. That is the whole basis for my argument, actually. How about you?"

"Huh?"

"Have you ever been in love?"

"Are we talking lust, or the real thing?"

"We are talking the real thing. This 'true love' crap that you insist exists."

Dana considered lying. She then re-considered.

"Yes."

"Yes?" She sounded shocked, When?"

Dana looked down at the table, "I still am," she said quietly.

She could imagine the look of surprise on her friend's face. She didn't need to look up.

"Mulder?"

Scully had to laugh. The surprise in her voice...

"Oh, if only I had a camera..." She looked up to see Angela looking back at her incredulously.

"But you said-"

"I lied, Ang, okay?"

"The real thing, huh?"

"I hope so. I would hate to live in a world where you're right." Scully realised that Angela wasn't going to let her off with a weak joke, "The real thing. I love him, Angela. So much."

"If you love him that much, why don't you do something about it?"

"Like what? Jump him?"

Angela grinned evilly, "It's a start."

She laughed, "I've never felt this way about anyone. To tell you the truth, it scares me."

"It shouldn't. You know, if you're going to prove me wrong, you're gonna have to do something about it, or my theory that we're all destined to die alone will be proven right. And I really don't want that to happen."

"I thought you loved being right?"

"I do. But not when it's at the sake of a friend's happiness."

Dana folded her arms and lay her head down on the table, "I don't know what to do. How do I tell him? I mean, what if I tell him, and it ends up ruining our friendship? This is the best relationship of my life as it is, and I don't want it to end."

This ended up coming out as a few muffled grunts, but Angela knew what she was saying, they knew each other too well.

"Oh, please, Dana. That is such a cliché. The whole, 'I don't want to ruin our friendship' thing? Give me a break."

She lifted her head up, "well I'm sorry, but it's true."

Angela rolled her eyes.

"Do you think I should ask that waiter out? He's cute," she asked, totally changing the subject.

Scully just looked at her in amazement.

"What? We can only talk about *your* problems? You *are* turning into Ally McBeal."

Scully turned around to get a better look at him, "Yeah, I think you should ask him out. He *is* kind of cute."

"Kind of? You're just biased cos you're in love with someone else."

Angela turned to the woman who was just passing their table. "Excuse me?"

Scully groaned and put her head back on the table, trying to hide. Twice a year was too often for her blood pressure.

"Do you think he's cute?" she asked, pointing. 

The woman smiled spitefully, tossing her perfect blonde hair, "Yes I do, but then again, I should. He *is* my fiancé. Excuse me, we have wedding plans to finalise."

Angela groaned as the woman walked off, presumably to finalise those wedding plans, and banged her own head down on the table. "I give up. Unless you and Mulder get it together, my theory stands. We are all destined to die alone. I'm gonna be an ninety year old spinster and live alone with cats. I'll permanently smell of cat piss, but no one will care, cos I'll never leave the house anyway. I'll refuse to go into a nursing home, and the only people to visit me will be the milkman and the tax guy. I should start saving money for the cat litter now, before it's too late."

The conversation was getting rapidly more depressing.Scully lifted her head briefly, "spinster?""Spinster," came the confirmation. They were still like that when Mulder found them. He raised an eyebrow, "Is this a private celebration, or can anyone join in?"

Scully didn't bother lifting her head, but Angela looked up briefly, "Only if you're a cute, male and single. Which, I guess, includes you, so yeah, you can join us."

He nodded, slightly bemused, and slid into the booth next to Scully.

He nodded towards her, "She still alive there?"

"Last time I looked. You should probably check, though." 

Mulder grinned in amusement as Angela resumed her earlier position, and decided to do the same. He turned his head towards Scully, reaching over to tug at a strand of her hair.

"Hey, Mulder."

"Wow. It lives."

Scully turned to glare at him, and sat up straight. She still hadn't quite recovered from their, uh, encounter the other day, and couldn't help feeling awkward around him. Not that she would ever tell him that. She was quite happy for him to think that she had no problem whatsoever with the fact that they had almost kissed.

Groaning, Angela followed her example and sat up too. This provoked a response from Mulder.

"Does this mean that I have to get up as well?"

"No, but if you don't you'll be sitting here alone. I've decided not to let it get me down, so any depressed looking people are banned from being within 10 feet of me."

Scully raised a sceptical eyebrow, "You changed your tune."

"You were the one who was trying to cheer me up, with quite a convincing argument, might I add."

Scully sent her a meaningful look: *shut the fuck up* the look said.

Angela merely grinned evilly.

She turned towards Mulder, "Is she always this argumentative?"

"Yup. Always. You should know, you've known her longer than me."

"Yeah, but you two spend a lot of time together. It only fits that you would know her better than me."

Scully kicked her under the table.

"OW!" Angela exclaimed.

"What?" asked Mulder, although he was pretty sure he knew. He had seen Dana Scully's revenge face before.

"Nothing, I just, uh, got a little cramp. In my *shin*" she emphasised, glaring at Scully.

Yup, Scully had kicked her. Mulder was certain of that.

"She can certainly be very argumentative, and she's as stubborn as-" he started, grinning at his rather angry partner.

"Excuse me, but can we please stop talking about me like I'm not here?"

"Yeah, Mulder, that's rude," chimed in Angela, grinning at the look on his face.

"Oh, excuse me!" He said, grinning lazily at Scully, who shook her head in resignation at her two best friends.

"I'll leave you two to chat, I need to powder my nose."

Angela watched her go, and then observed Mulder.

He gulped. She looked very much like a predator watching her prey.

"So, Mulder. Are you ever gonna kiss her?"

His mouth dropped open, "Excuse me?" She certainly wasn't the small talking type.

"Oh please, don't give me that. Answer the question, Mulder."

He knew there was a reason he didn't like Scully's friend.

"We're just friends, Angela."

Angela scoffed in a most unladylike way, "Right."

"I'm serious. There is nothing between us like that."

"Mulder, don't lie to me. I see the way you two look at each other. It's quite sickening, really. Give me some credit."

He frowned, "Has Scully said something?"

"You really expect me, as Dana's friend, to answer that? I don't think so."

"Okay, let me phrase this differently. Do you have any evidence to back up your theory?"

"I'm not a FBI agent, I don't need hard evidence." She looked at him knowingly, "I know all about it, Mulder."

"She told you?"

Angela grinned to herself, men were so easy to fool, it was almost tragic.

"Yup."

"Nothing happened, Angela."

She said nothing, a wrong move now could cost her this whole pretence.

"Did you want it to?"

"I...that's not an easy question."

"I know. Which is why I'm asking it. Because god knows, somebody has to. You two need to wake up and smell the UST."

"UST?" he asked sceptically

Angela groaned like he had just asked the stupidest question known to man, "unresolved sexual tension. Puleeze."

"Sorry for being such an uneducated male."

"You're forgiven. Now about this kiss..."

"Jesus, Angela, don't you ever give up?"

"Nope. And you can just ask Dana if you need proof. Spill."

"It was a long time ago now. Almost a year."

"Spill!"

He glared at her. She was certainly persistent.

He sighed, "I thought she was leaving, okay? I- I couldn't let her go without letting her know how I feel."

"So what happened?" Angela squeaked, on the edge of her seat. This was sure juicy.

"I thought you knew all about it," he said accusingly.

"I do. I just, uh, want your side of it." There, that ought to keep her safe.

"I don't see how there can be more than one side to something like this. Are you sure she told you?"

Shit.

"Um..." Angela groped for an answer, and when she found none, she resigned herself to her fate: a pretty pissed off Mulder.

Mulder gaped at her, "I can't believe you!"

"Oh, Dana won't tell me anything much, so I thought I'd try you. So sue me!"

"Anything much?"

"You are getting nothing out of me till you spill."

Scully raised an eyebrow as she approached the booth, and sat back down, "sounds interesting."

Mulder glanced at Angela, "your friend and I were just swapping embarrassing Scully stories."

"Yeah, well I'd imagine she has a few."

Angela laughed, "half of the things I could tell him, you won't even remember."

Scully exhaled loudly, "like what?" she asked indignantly.

"Like the time you screamed at that cat when you were drunk."

"What? I did not!"

Mulder grinned. A drunk Scully was a phenomenon he'd never really encountered.

"Yes you did!"

"When?"

"At that party the other year. You know, at Jill's house. Her poor cat came into the room, you spotted it and shrieked at it!"

"I didn't!"

"Oh yes you did."

Mulder watched this exchange with some amusement.

"Well, I don't remember."

"That's because you were out of your brain."

"I wasn't that bad. And I don't remember a cat."

"You were that bad, and I'm sure the cat remembers it. God, Dana, you were even smoking."

She frowned, "I haven't smoked in 3 years now... oh God, yeah, I was, wasn't I? But I don't remember a cat."

Mulder leaned back in his chair, now *this* was entertainment.

"*I* do. You spotted it, and shouted, 'CAT!' at the top of your voice. The poor thing ran out of the room terrified."

Scully laughed, a sound that Mulder didn't get to hear very often, "I swear I don't remember doing that."

"I can just see it," remarked Mulder, "the cool, collected Dana Scully screaming at a poor, defenceless pussy cat. Shame on you."

She gave him a look, "shut up Mulder."

He grinned, "I hate to leave this charming discussion, but I gotta go. I, unlike some people, have work to do." He looked pointedly at Scully.

She rolled her eyes, "I'll be there in a minute, Mulder. I need to ask Angela something."

He shrugged, "take all the time you need. It was... nice to see you again, Angela."

She considered sticking her tongue out at him, but decided against it, "likewise."

Mulder walked away, grinning.

"You know, I can see what you see in him, Dana."

"Yeah. He's certainly something, isn't he?" 

"He is. I'm still not convinced though."

"Jesus, what'll it take?"

"It'll take you two to get together."

"Yeah, well don't hold your breath."

Angela considered this, "20 bucks."

"What?"

"I bet you 20 bucks that I'm right, and true love doesn't exist. Unless you can prove otherwise, I'm right. Deal?"

"Unless I can prove otherwise? I've told you, we're not-"

"I'm not just talking about you and Mulder. Come on, you used to be quite the gambler in your day, do we have a deal?"

Scully sighed, remembering that she had lost money many a time to her ruthless friend, "okay, fine, deal. 20 bucks. I gotta go too, we'll talk about the cat thing later."

"And the Mulder thing, I hope," Angela smiled sweetly.

"We'll talk about the cat thing," said Scully as she walked away.

Angela's sweet smile changed to an evil grin and she reached for her jacket pocket as Dana exited the restaurant. 

She had a cunning plan...

* * * * * * * * * *

Hehehe... so do I...

The cat story was inspired by actual events (Hi Rachel!) 

More madness in part 2!

[Bee_slayer@hotmail.com][1]

* * * * * * * * * *

disclaimer & crap in part 1.

* * * * * * * * * * 

'My friends are all so cynical,

Refuse to keep the faith,

We all enjoy the madness,

Cos we know we're gonna fade away'

Robbie Williams - Millennium.

STILL WEDNESDAY

"I still don't remember a cat," remarked Scully as she took a spoonful of ice cream from the huge tub she and Angela were sharing."I'm telling you, Dana, there was a cat. And you screeched at it. And will you please stop hogging the ice cream!"

It was later that night, and they were having a girls night in. Scully'd got Mulder to let her out early, and they'd been pigging out on ice cream for about an hour now.

Scully gave her friend an evil look, "I have been getting cat comments from Mulder all day, thanks to your big mouth."

She grinned, "Oops. Sorry."

She wasn't sorry at all, and they both knew it.

"He even started singing 'What's new Pussycat' at one point!"

Angela decided that now was a great time to change the subject ever-so-slightly.

"So, about the Mulder thing..."

"Angela, can we please get off this subject?" 

"Okay, Dana, if you'd rather talk about the cat incident."

Dana glared at her, "Look, I just would rather not talk about Mulder, okay? It's not a particularly spirit-lifting subject."

Angela turned the tv down, David Schwimmer was *really* starting to annoy her.

"But come on, Dana, honestly, has nothing ever happened?"

Dana sighed. There was no way she was gonna get out of this one, "Nothing. Ever. Happy?"

"No. I don't believe you."

"You don't." Why was she not surprised?

"No. Come on, I know that something almost happened, you might as well tell me the whole story."

"He told you?"

"Um, well," Angela faltered a little, "not exactly. He thought you'd told me."

"You are truly evil, you know that?"

"Yup. I'm the devil incarnate."

Scully sighed again, "I don't know what happened. I mean, he came straight over to my mom's place to tell me. Um, he'd gotten a confession out of this guy we spent the last few weeks trying to catch."

"The last few weeks?" asked Angela incredulously, "I thought this happened a year ago."

"He told you about *that?*"

"Apparently so." Angela was deadpan, but was inwardly cheering. Scully would *have* to tell her *both* stories now.

"Angela, you really have a knack for stirring things up, don't you?"

"Apparently so. Spill it, Dana!"

Scully rolled her eyes and had some more ice cream, "so which one do you wanna hear first?"

"You're actually gonna tell me?"

"It looks like I have no choice, doesn't it?" She sighed, "and besides, I have to tell someone."

"So..."

Scully glared at her friend, "so I was at my mom's place, relaxing. Mulder comes over to tell me about some case news, we talked for a while, and it just kinda happened."

"What did? Don't leave me hanging like that! I'm delicate!"

Scully scoffed, "*you* are about as delicate as a sledgehammer."

"Yeah, whatever. What happened??"

She sighed in frustration, "we almost kissed. Happy?"

"No!" Angela was getting ever-so-slightly worked up now, "Why didn't you?"

"My mother. She came out to say hi."

Angela cringed, "no! Evil parent!"

She couldn't help laughing at the over-the-top reaction, "she didn't know."

"And you both just agreed to leave it there?" She was incredulous.

"We did. It seemed like the most sensible solution."

"Aw, screw sensible! Screw him!"

Subtlety had never been Angela's strong point.

"It's just not that simple, okay? I-"

She got no further as the phone rang. *Saved by the bell,* she thought as she got up to answer it.

"Scully"

"Hi, it's me," Mulder sounded somewhat excited.

"Mulder? What's up?"

Scully tried her best to ignore the look on Angela's face, but there were easier things to do.

"The gunmen have found something, I *know* you'll find this interesting."

She wasn't so convinced.

"You wanna come over and have a look?"

"Mulder, I have a guest, in case you didn't notice. And as much as I love Frohike and the bunch, I really can't just leave her."

Angela was mouthing at her to just go, but she turned away from her and concentrated on the conversation at hand.

"Well, why don't the two of you come over? I doubt she'll mind."

Scully groaned inwardly, "Mulder, I-"

"Or better still, why don't we come to you? This is really something, Scully."

"I don't know..."

"I'll bring pizza."

Now this changed things a bit. They *had* been about to order, but if Mulder was offering food... who was she to argue?

"Fine, whatever. Just tell them to behave, okay?"

"Of course. See you!"

And with that, he was gone. Scully hung up the phone, shaking her head. She really had to get some self-control, he had her wrapped around his little finger. Mind you, it was vice-versa most of the time, so she really didn't have that much to worry about.

"What was that about?"

"Mulder and friends are coming round with pizza. Brace yourself."

"Huh?"

Scully sat back down, prying the ice cream tub from her friend before they ate it all, "The Lone Gunmen. Frohike, Byers and Langly. Apparently, they've found something interesting, and Mulder wants me to see it. So they're coming round here."

Angela frowned, "interesting interesting, or UFO interesting?"

"Probably the latter."

"Any of them cute?"

This got a laugh from Scully. 'Cute' and 'Gunmen' were not usually words put in the same sentence.

"Let's see...Frohike's a troll, Langly has bad hair and Byers is just… Byers."

"Now Dana, your definition of bad hair and my definition of bad hair are very different."

That was certainly true, a few years ago when Angela had visited, she had surprised Scully by turning up with dreadlocks. Scully suppressed a shudder at the memory, and turned her attention back to the present.

"Long, blonde and straggly. I don't think any of them are your type, Ang. Sorry to disappoint you."

Angela shrugged, gazing longingly at the almost empty tub of ice cream, "oh well. I don't know why I expected anything else."

Scully groaned and got up to put the tub back into the freezer, before returning for another depressing conversation about the evils of man.

LATER...

Mulder hung up the phone and looked over apologetically at Scully, "I gotta go, apparently there's been a disturbance over at my place."

"Disturbance?" Scully frowned, was it just her imagination or did Mulder have on that not-telling-the-whole-truth look?

"I don't know any more than that, I was only told that I had to get over there."

"Told by whom?"

The agents were so wrapped up in their little discussion that they didn't notice Langly and Angela's sly grins.

Mulder sighed, seeing that he wasn't going to get away with a half-truth on this occasion.

"I don't know. To tell the truth, it sounded like a computer generated voice."

"So you're just gonna go running off like you always do?" Her voice was incredulous, as it always was when she was dealing with him in a situation like this, but there was also a degree of hopelessness there. 

The battle was already lost.

"I-" He broke off when he noticed the 4 pairs of curious eyes looking on at them. He gave a frustrated sigh as Scully grabbed his arm, propelling them into the kitchen.

They also didn't see Angela exchange a subtle high five with the still-bemused Byers.

Scully turned around to face him as he began - once again - to plead his case.

"I have to go, Scully."

"You always *have* to go! And you always end up getting hurt!" Her tone was harsh, but her face showed her concern for him, "and I'm always the one who has to cover for you!"

"I'm sorry, but this could be important!"

"Yeah, and it could be another wild-goose chase that ends up with you getting injured!"

"You can't stop me going!"

She knew this, how could she not?

"Yeah, but you can't stop me trying!"

They looked at each other angrily, before Scully's face softened, "I worry about you, Mulder. You know I do."

He ran a hand through his hair, suddenly feeling tired, "I know. But you can't expect me to just ignore this."

She studied him for a long moment, deep in thought. She then rolled her eyes, as if to say 'why the hell do I do this?' and smiled briefly at him, "You're right. I can't."

He raised a sceptical eyebrow, "you don't mind me going?"

"No." She paused for effect before dropping the minor bombshell, "Not as long as I come with you."

He opened his mouth to protest, but she beat him to it, "don't try and talk me out of it Mulder, we've had this conversation before. If you go, I go."

"What about Angela?" he asked, certain that he had her in a corner with *that* one.

"She's a big girl, I'm sure she can look after herself."

Damn, maybe not, "you're leaving the poor woman alone with Frohike and the guys? Your best friend?"

She gave a sardonic smile, "yeah yeah, Mulder, the guilt trip isn't gonna work on me." As an afterthought she added, "besides, she's got Byers to protect her."

Mulder laughed, resigning himself to the fact that Scully had won, and walked out of the kitchen, pausing momentarily to murmur in her ear, "fine, but don't blame me when she starts spouting conspiracy theories at you."

He swaggered out, knowing that he'd won a point there.

Scully grinned, trying not to let herself be affected by the sensation of Mulder's breath on her skin (although the attempt was futile), and followed him out, ready to break the news to Angela.

Funny thing was, she didn't think her friend would mind.

Since the moment the gunmen arrived, Angela seemed to be getting on just fine with them. In fact, her and Byers had disappeared to the other side of the room for about 10 minutes, apparently discussing something in detail. Then Langly had been called over, had listened for a few minutes, then asked if he could use Scully's phone. 

Scully - perhaps foolishly - agreed, figuring that Angela probably wanted to exact revenge on somebody - maybe that bitch in the café that day.

And then they had settled down to eat pizza, before the Mulder's cell phone rang.

"Ang, can I have a word please?"

Angela made a show about giving up her comfortable seat, but followed Scully *back* into the kitchen, tonight's chosen discussion room.

"Mulder and I, uh, have to pop out for a bit."

Angela nodded, giving Langly some mental applause, "anywhere interesting?"

Scully gave her a mild glower, "you know very well where."

Angela froze, there was no way she could know - was there?

"I know nothing!" She frowned, "no, wait, I didn't mean that, exactly. I, uh,"

"Oh for god's sake. I meant, you heard our conversation, you know what the call was about. Jesus, Angela, what's *with* you?"

She shrugged, "those weird friends of yours, I guess."

Scully raised her hands in a 'stop' gesture, "they're not *my* friends!"

"Mulder is!"

She exhaled loudly, "can we get back to the subject please? Is it okay if we abandon you for a while, just until we get this sorted...whatever it is?"

Angela appeared to ponder this, biting her bottom lip. "Sure, I don't mind. As long as you let me have the rest of that ice cream."

Scully smiled, "if you really want it, Ang, you can have it." She began to back out of the kitchen *again* and caught the jacket Mulder threw at her.

"Thank you," she commented dryly, then turned to Angela, "If you need me, the gunmen have my cell number, okay?"

"Yeah, fine, whatever." Angela had already settled back in her chair, and gave a cheerful little wave to the retreating partners, "run along now, take your time. Hell, spend the night at his place for all I care."

Scully gave a toxic glare, not having the chance to say anything more as Mulder ushered her out of the door.

"Have fun, y'all," Mulder shut the door behind him, as Byers, Langly, Frohike and Angela let out a simultaneous sigh of relief.

"Thank God," commented Byers.

"I thought they'd *never* leave!" exclaimed Angela as she made herself more comfortable.

"Now will someone *please* tell me what the hell is going on?"

The three others looked at Frohike, who was looking ever-so-slightly confused.

"I have a plan."

The gunmen looked at each other, wondering what they'd gotten themselves into.

"We all know that those two are made for each other. The problem is convincing them..."Angela raised an eyebrow, giving a truly evil grin as she told the listening gunmen the details...

"Well wasn't that a total waste of our time," muttered Scully as she marched along her hallway, Mulder a step behind her.

"Look on the bright side, we didn't get killed."

Scully stopped in her tracks, almost causing Mulder to walk into her back, and turned to face him, staring unwaveringly at him. She didn't like how close she was to him, but there wasn't much she could do at this point.

"That is *not* the point Mulder, okay?"

"So what *is* the point?"

Neither was really angry, Scully was too busy being relieved that it turned out to be nothing, and Mulder...Mulder just found Scully really funny when she was pretending to be mad at him.

"The point is that you never listen to me! And tonight just proved that maybe sometimes you *should*"

She didn't even have to mention the fact that the gunmen's little 'discovery' had turned out to be useless as well. Their theory had had one minor flaw that Scully was quick to point out - it wasn't physically possible within any realm of the imagination.

Even Frohike's.

"You're absolutely right."

"Because one of these days you're gonna get yourself killed!"

"You're absolutely right."

"And I might not be around to stop you!"

"You're absolutely right."

It was at this point that Scully began to suspect that he might be mocking her.

"And will you stop agreeing with me?"

The words were out of her mouth even as she realised that she'd fallen into his trap.

"You see?"

"Oh, here we go."

"You hate it when I listen to you. And I know you get freaked out when I agree with you."

She folded her arms, looking up at Mulder impatiently, "this conversation is pointless... this whole *night* was pointless!"

"Nothing is completely pointless."

"Really." It was a statement, not a question.

He stared down into her eyes, looking more than faintly amused, and she felt as if - as always when she found herself staring straight at him like this - she was falling into him. Those eyes of his...

A thousand thoughts ran through her mind, but she found herself unable to say a single one of them. He had her trapped, and he knew it.

His eyes seemed to mock her, as if saying that this was her one true weakness, and he knew it. What she had said about him to Angela was true, it was obvious to both of them.

All too quickly, Mulder turned away, before he gave in to the growing urge to kiss her.

*Why do you keep doing this to me?* Her mind screamed, *you know the effect you have on me, why keep putting us both through it?*

It was another pointless question, she knew that as it ran through her mind, and as she stopped herself from saying it aloud.

Just another line to add to the long list of Things Forever Left Unsaid.

A door opened down the hallway, and Frohike poked a drowsy head out, "I thought I heard voices. You two just gonna stand there all night?" And he poked his head back in, leaving the door wide open.

Mulder and Scully shot each other bemused glances, before continuing into her apartment, because no, they *weren't* gonna stand there all night.

Not anymore, anyway.

THURSDAY

Scully awoke the next morning with her head on Mulder's shoulder a sore back, and the smell of freshly brewed coffee streaming in from the kitchen.

She groaned, rubbing her eyes and letting everything come into focus before trying to remember exactly *how* she had come to be in this position.

When they had returned last night they had found one very tired gunman, with another already asleep on a chair, and another asleep on the sofa with an also asleep Angela draped over him.

The (un?)lucky gunman didn't seem to mind, in fact, Byers even had a little smile on his face.

Scully had made her and Mulder a cup of hot chocolate each (they couldn't bare to wake them all, they looked so peaceful. Innocent, almost. And Frohike had fallen asleep again within a few seconds) and they had sat on the floor and drank them, eventually falling asleep too, although Scully couldn't actually remember it.

She looked around the room, trying to work out where exactly they were. There were no Gunmen, and no Angela.

She gave a mental shrug and closed her eyes again, not wanting to face the waking world just yet. She didn't want to face the fact that her head was on Mulder's shoulder, her arm spread across his chest while *his* arm was around her waist. She wasn't certain of much, but she was sure they didn't go to sleep like this.

Moving did not seem an option.

She felt herself drifting off again, her thoughts becoming more jumbled, sensations disappearing...

Suddenly, a loud guitar riff blasted from Scully's stereo, startling both her and Mulder wide-awake. They both looked immediately to the grinning Angela standing next to the stereo, her hand on the volume switch.

At Mulder's glare, she turned the music down slightly.

Scully groaned for the second time that morning, "what time is it?" she resigned herself to the fact that she was awake, and was likely to stay that way.

"Time you two were getting ready to go to work." She gave a mock-disapproving look, "you really should know better. Traipsing off on wild goose chases when you've got work the next day."

Scully frowned and sat up a bit, "how do you *know* it was a wild goose chase?"

Angela shrugged, struggling to appear nonchalant, "lucky guess."

Scully looked up at Mulder, who was blinking the sleep out of his eyes, "What time is it?" he asked, releasing his grip on Scully. She missed his warmth straight away, but showed nothing, standing up.

"Time you were going to if you want to get to work on time," she told him just as he was about to repeat his question.

She held out a hand to help him up, and he took it gratefully, his weight nearly pulling *her* down. She almost laughed, but stopped herself as she heard Angela make an "ahhh" noise.

"What?" she asked innocently, finding both Mulder and Scully glowering at her.

Mulder shook his head, "you're not funny Angela, you know that?"

She just laughed at this, "we'll see," and sauntered off to the kitchen, smirking to herself.

"She should not be let out into the general public," muttered Scully, much to Mulder's amusement.

"Mmm hmm," he agreed, shrugging on his jacket. "See you at work?"

"Umm," she was sure there was something she wanted to say, but couldn't for the life of her remember what it was.

"Yeah, see you.. I'll go have a word with my over-enthusiastic friend."

Mulder grinned, squeezing Scully's arm on the way out, "try giving her a few of those painkillers you keep hidden away. They ought to knock her out."

He then left, leaving Scully considering a few things: in the first place, she wished he would stop whispering in her ear! It was very distracting, and he knew it. Secondly, how the hell did he know about those heavy-duty painkillers?

Angela, who was carrying a cup of coffee into the living room, brought her out of her pondering, "So..."She began, but Scully interrupted, "you and Byers looked friendly."

"Oh no you don't, you are *not* turning this conversation round to me!" She sounded indignant, as if Scully had no right to be doing that.

"Why did I expect anything else?" Scully murmured, smirking at her friend.

"You do realise that you two had the perfect opportunity last night, don't you? And you, ever the sensible one, did nothing about it!"

She frowned, "I'm not sure I follow," she was, in fact, sure that she did, and she didn't like it.

Angela made a frustrated noise as she forced a cup of coffee into Scully's hand, "yes you do, you just don't want to have this conversation. You know very well that you could have jumped your luscious partner easily last night, but for reasons unbeknown to the rest of the population, you didn't!"

"Jesus, talk about a broken record. Give up, Ang!"

Angela jumped up from the sofa, "No I will *not* give up, Dana! If you think I sound like a broken record, you should try listening to yourself! For two people who are supposed to be intelligent, you sure act like a pair of morons sometimes! You, of all people, should know that life is precious, no matter how clichéd it sounds! Do something about the way you feel before it's too late, before you drive us all round the bend."

She gradually calmed down through her speech, and at the end sat back down, spent.

"And besides," she added, "there's 20 bucks riding on this."

Scully sat forlornly down next to her friend and sighed, "it's just not that easy, Ang, as I've said already."

"Dana, how do you feel about him?"

"If you haven't worked that out-"

"*I* have. It's you I'm worried about."

Scully's friend was practically *oozing* concern.

"You know I love him, okay? I love him I'm *In* love with him, head over feet. You happy?" She sighed again, "It's not like 'jumping him,' as you so delicately put it, hasn't crossed my mind many a time. But..."

"But you're fucking insecure, right?"

"I…" she faltered, "I guess so, yeah. What if he *doesn't* feel the same?"

"Oh for god's sake, stop being so negative. You *know* he loves you. Jesus, Dana, if I can see it, I don't see how you can't!"

Angela calmly took a sip of her coffee, taking no notice of Scully's glare in her direction.

"The two of you looked so cute this morning...you had your arms around each other...made me go all gooey."

Scully didn't need reminded the they'd had their arms around each other. She could still almost feel him there, and she had to literally shake her head to banish those thoughts.

"It was...nice."

"As in friendly nice, or you wouldn't mind waking up like that a little more often?"

She laughed, "definitely the second one. It felt right, Ang."

"Obviously. I swear to god, the two of you are almost enough to convince an old cynic like me about the existence of soulmates."

"I don't know if I'd go *that* far," even as she said it, Scully knew she was lying.

"Really?" 

"I don't know, Angela. Everything's so...confusing."

"You're hopeless, you know that?"

In spite of everything Scully had to smile at this, "I know."

LATER

Angela grinned as she pressed stop on her Dictaphone-esque device provided by the Gunmen. Modern technology sure had its advantages, and these things had many uses.

Matchmaking being only one of them.

There *was* still one flaw to her plan, however.

Mulder.

She had Scully's declaration of love down on tape, now all she had to do was get Mulder to talk. And something told her that *that* wasn't going to be quite as easy.

"Easy?" she asked the empty apartment, "with Dana it was like pulling teeth! With Mr Paranoia 1999 it'll be practically impossible."

She frowned as she realised she was talking to herself. Too much sunset beach and not enough company, that was the cause of it.

Plus, the Romeo and Juliet wannabes were driving her crazy.

But they were making progress, Scully *had* eventually admitted her love for Mulder, all that was needed was for him to do the same. Angela just needed a reason to be alone with him.

Easier said than done.

Dana was suspicious already, Angela could tell that she knew she was up to something.

Luckily, she didn't know what.

Yet.

Her grin widened, Scully would find out soon enough. Well, she would if Mulder talked. Which brought her back to the original problem: her friend's tight-lipped partner.

Although, just how tight those lips were was yet to be discovered.

All of a sudden, Angela had an idea, something which seemed to be happening a lot lately...

EVEN LATER...

Angela stopped in surprise and stared through the window. This was perfect!

Mulder was sitting there, in the same café, alone.

It was just as well, because after thinking about it for a while, she'd had to admit that her former plan (getting into the J Edgar Hoover Building, telling Scully that there'd been an emergency and cornering Mulder there) might had been difficult.

She sauntered into the café, and over to where Mulder was sitting, recording device type-thing turned on and ready.

"All alone?" she asked, flashing him a bright smile.

He pretended to look around, "unless Scully's hiding under the table, yeah."

She threw him a disdainful glance and sat down opposite him, "so. You were in the middle of telling me about the almost-kiss?"

He groaned, "Jesus Christ, can't you take a hint? I don't want to talk about it!"

"Okay, one, yes I can take a hint, two, yes you do want to talk about it. You just don't want to talk about the fact that you want to talk about it."

While Mulder was trying to figure out that last statement, Angela jumped in with her next question, "so why didn't you kiss her?"

He glared at her, "shouldn't you be asking Scully this?"

"I'm asking you."

"Give me one good reason why I should tell you anything after the little trick you pulled here yesterday?"

"Because it's for your own good and you know it. Talking about your feelings is a healthy thing to do."

"So this is for the good of my health?" He didn't sound convinced.

"And your sanity. Spill."

He heaved a big the-world-is-on-my-shoulders-and-you're-just-adding-to-the-weight sigh, "It was in the hallway in my building, and it just kind of...happened."

She heaved an equally heavy I'm-trying-to-help-you-and-you-are-SO-not-cooperating sigh, "why is it that everything that anyone feels guilty about 'just happens'?"

He shrugged, "you tell me."

"So?"

"So we were interrupted by a rampaging insect. Although I doubt we would have actually, you know, kissed anyway."

"Why do you doubt that?"

Mulder raised an eyebrow, she was good. She was very good. "Because our relationship isn't like that. Because we're just friends, and because...look, it was just a stupid spur of the moment thing, okay? It didn't mean anything."

"I don't believe you."

He shrugged again, "believe what you like, Angela. Now if you'll excuse me, I've got to get back to work." He stood up, ready to retreat. FBI training just didn't prepare you for this.

"So what about last week, huh? Was that just a stupid spur of the moment thing as well?"

Mulder stopped and looked at Angela in shock, "she told you about that?"

She nodded, and Mulder sat reluctantly back down.

"Once is spur of the moment, Mulder. Twice shows intent."

"What are you getting at?"

"What the hell do you think I'm getting at? You morons are so obviously in love with each other that it's almost painful to watch, and you're too scared to do a thing about it! And then you go and ask what I'm getting at? What is wrong with you people?" She was getting worked up again, and realised that it was because she was sick of going through the same thing with both of them. It was enough to test the patience of a saint.

And Angela was many things, but a saint wasn't one of them.

Not by any stretch of the imagination.

"And you're the expert on love, are you?"

Angela sighed, she was tired of this, "do you love her or not? It's a simple question, Mulder."

"Do I love her? Of course I do."

She grimaced, if she didn't get something out of him soon, someone was going to get injured. "I *meant,* are you *in* love with her. And consider your answer very carefully, Mulder, because I have a built in lie detector, and if you lie I'm likely to hurt you."

He couldn't help smiling at this, she sounded like Scully when she was in PMS mode. He decided to just be honest with her, he didn't have enough energy to keep up this argument for long.

"Of course I'm fucking in love with her! How could I not be?" He paused, calming down visibly, "Are you gonna leave me alone now?"

"Are you going to do something about it?"

He just looked at her, unable to answer her question.

"Take my advice, Mulder-"

"Do I have a choice?" he broke in.

"Do something while you can. She's not going to wait forever."

This time it was Angela who stood up, feeling very pleased with herself. Maybe this wasn't going to be so difficult after all.

"You love her, she loves you, get over yourselves and finish those fucking kisses," she tried to say this seriously, she really did, but the last part of the sentence got her, and she ended up bursting out into laughter, causing her to get some very strange looks from others in the café, including the cute waiter.

She shook her head at Mulder, "this is your fault. You and Dana are a threat to my sanity."

Mulder grinned, "too much UST, right?"

This time she *did* leave, smiling to herself on the way out, and leaving behind a slightly bemused Mulder.

"I deserve a Nobel prize for this," she murmured, taking the Dictaphone and cell phone out of her pockets and dialling the number for the Lone Gunmen.

Time for phase 2.

EVEN MORE LATER

Mulder was lying on his sofa, idly flicking through the channels trying to find something that wasn't a sitcom.

So far, he wasn't having much luck.

To be honest, he wasn't taking much notice of the tv. He was too busy thinking about what Angela had said to him earlier on that day.

The thing was, she was right. And if it wasn't so pathetic, the fact that it had taken Scully's weird friend to point it out to them would have been funny.

But it wasn't so simple. Angela had said, "you love her, she loves you," but *did* Scully love him? *And if she does,* he thought miserably, *why?*

He was just starting to sink into a minor depression when his phone rang.

"Mulder."

"Mulder, come over to my place now, I need to talk to you."

Then a dial tone.

He frowned. It had been Scully's voice, but leaving a cryptic message and then hanging up wasn't her style.

Than was the sort of thing *he* did.

He stood up quickly, grabbing his keys and jacket and rushing out of the apartment. For Scully to leave a message like that, it must be important. He tried to quash the fear growing inside him as he slammed the apartment door behind him, shaking the building.

He just hoped she was okay.

Angela doubled over in laughter at the sight of her old friend covered from head to toe in cheap wine. Scully didn't find it at all amusing.

"This is all your fault," she accused, pointing.

Angela tried to stop laughing, but the wine dripping from Scully's nose was too much, and she lapsed into hysterics again.

Scully gave her a poisonous glare, and wiped her face with the back of her hand. It *was* Angela's fault, because if she hadn't have made another comment about Mulder, Scully wouldn't have had to wave her arm about (the hand holding the glass of wine) to shut her up. Then, the glass wouldn't have flew out of her hand, spurting wine everywhere, and it wouldn't have landed on the carpet - amazingly the right way up - sending wine all the way up to the ceiling.

And Angela wouldn't have been close to wetting herself.

"Oh, for god's sake, it isn't *that* funny." Déjà vu hit Scully as she became sure she'd said that before. 

But then, she had known Angela since high school, they probably had had this conversation a few times.

Angela began to answer her, but didn't get the chance as Scully's phone rang.

She bit back a smile at her friend, pretended to glower and picked up the phone, "Scully."

"Scully, come round to my place *now,* it's important. I'll not be long, just wait for me."

Surprisingly enough, the dial tone followed.

"Odd," Scully said as she hung up the phone, looking around the room to see where she'd put her car keys.

Angela bit back another bout of hysterics to fake a concerned expression, "who was it?"

"That was Mulder, he asked me to go over to his place now." She spotted her keys and picked them up, throwing her purse over her shoulder. "I, um, I gotta go again. I'm sure I won't be long, don't worry."

"Maybe he's planning to seduce ya," Angela commented coyly.

"Right, whatever, Ang. He sounded serious." Actually, he had sounded very strange indeed, but her friend didn't need to know that.

"Well bring back some more wine, you just took a shower in the last of it."

For the first time since the phone rang Scully realised that she was still drenched, "oh god, I should change...screw it, there isn't time."

She shoved on a pair of trainers and rushed out of the front door, only vaguely hearing Angela shouting, "Good luck," after her.

"They're good. They're very good."

She snickered and turned off the telly, setting out to find her own shoes. If it went wrong, and Scully returned home angry, Angela wasn't planning to be there to see it. 

She was going to visit the Gunmen.

Mulder turned his key in the car door, only to discover that it was already unlocked. He frowned, he distinctly remembered locking it when he'd gotten home that night.

He got in, feeling uneasy. Something was different. He looked around a few times, trying to place what it was that was wrong.

Then his eyes fell on an object on the dashboard.

A tape.

He picked it up, reading the label on the box: "play this before you go anywhere," it said.

He weighed his options for a few seconds before his curiosity got the better of him and he popped the tape into the car radio.

Angela's voice blared out:

"Oh no you don't, you are *not* turning this conversation around to me!"

"Why did I expect anything else?" That was Scully's voice, sounding as if she was resigned to her fate.

"You do realise that you two had the perfect opportunity last night, don't you? And you, ever the sensible one, did nothing about it!"

Mulder frowned, the perfect opportunity for what? And what the hell were they talking about?

"I'm not sure I follow..." Scully's voice had a tone to it that he knew well. What she was *really* saying was that she knew exactly what Angela was saying, but was hoping to avoid the discussion by feigning confusion.

All of a sudden, Mulder knew exactly where the conversation was headed. "The little bitch," he muttered, nevertheless unable to eject the tape.

"Yes you do, you just don't want to have this conversation. You know very well that you could have jumped your luscious partner easily last night, but for reasons unbeknown to the rest of the population, you didn't!"

"Oh god," he said out loud, practically able to see the expression on Scully's face as she told Angela to change the record.

He couldn't help wondering just who had recorded this, and why? What was coming up that he wasn't going to like?

"And besides, there's 20 bucks riding on this."

He snorted, they'd made a bet? This didn't sound very much like his Scully.

Then came the bombshell, " You know I love him, okay? I love him I'm *In* love with him, head over feet. You happy?" She sighed again, "It's not like 'jumping him,' as you so delicately put it, hasn't crossed my mind many a time. But..."

"But you're fucking insecure, right?"

Mulder sat back in shock at his partner's admission. At the same time, a feeling of guilt hit him. Scully wouldn't want him to hear this. If she wanted him to know her feelings, she'd want to tell him herself.

At this point the conversation was interrupted by Angela, this time obviously speaking to him.

"Did you hear that Mulder? She loves you. And, just in case you hadn't worked it out yet, you've been set up. Remember that little conversation we had in the café today? Well, the love of your life has a recording of that in her car, which - if all goes according to plan - she should be sitting in right now. You can thank me tomorrow, but for now get your ass over to Dana's place. Hopefully, she'll be waiting."

Either Angela had forgotten to press stop in time, or she was trying to fuck with his mind, as the next thing she said was, "providing that Huey, Duey and Louie haven't fucked this up."

Slowly, a smile spread across his face and he started the car, rewinding the tape as he pulled out of the car park.

The girl was good, she was very good.

"Of course I'm fucking in love with her! How could I not be?"

Mulder's voice came out of Scully's car speakers loud and clear, but she still had trouble believing that she'd just heard what she thought she'd just heard. Had he really just admitted that he loved her?

"Are you gonna leave me alone now?"

She couldn't help but smile. Angela sure had a way of getting a reaction out of people.

"Are you gonna do something about it?" And she wasn't giving up, "take my advice, Mulder-"

"Do I have a choice?"

Scully shook her head, where Angela was concerned no one had a choice. She usually managed to bulldoze people round to her way of thinking one way or another.

She heard Mulder say, "too much UST, right?" before Angela interrupted, the smile in her voice obvious.

"Just in case you're wondering, Dana, that's unresolved sexual tension. Which hopefully, there won't be very much of for very long now. Listen very carefully, that wasn't Mulder on the phone. That was some technical magic, courtesy of your favourite troll and friends. Yup, you guessed it, you have been set up. Right now - if this worked, that is - Mulder is listening to a tape of this morning's conversation between us. You know, the one where you admitted yet again to being in love with him? If he listens to my instructions - which as you know, he might not - he'll be on his way over pretty soon. So be a good girl and get your ass back up the stairs to your place to wait for him. And don't worry, I'll have cleared off to celebrate with Byers, Langly and Frohike. Useful, ain't they? Good luck Dana, although I doubt you'll need it."

Scully shut off the car engine in something of a daze, climbing out of the car obediently, wondering if she had time to get changed and wash away the wine.

Who was she to argue with such clear instructions?

20 MINUTES LATER

Mulder knocked on the door, feeling somewhat less than confident. In his hand he held the tape, just in case things *had* gone wrong and his ever-sceptical partner wanted proof.

The journey to Scully's building had flashed by, and he'd gotten out of the car feeling like he hadn't had enough time to prepare for this. 

He raised his hand, ready to knock again, but the door was opened by Scully, whose expression was a mixture of embarrassment, amusement and nervousness.

Mulder had a feeling that he looked exactly the same.

Their eyes met, and Scully felt a jolt run through her. What had Angela said? Once is spur of the moment, twice shows intent.

So what was three times, because there was definite intent in Mulder's eyes as his eyes passed over her, taking in her still-slightly-wet vest top and jeans.

Her eyes left his face as she glanced at the tape in his right hand. She heard him give a short laugh as he realised what she was looking at and she looked back up.

"She's good, isn't she?" She said quietly, standing back so that Mulder could come in.

"Very good," he replied, brushing past her.

Scully felt a shiver run down her spine at the contact, and absently shut the door, knowing what was coming next as though it had already been written.

She was vaguely aware of Mulder putting down the tape, although her gaze was fixed on his eyes.

He seemed to be looking right into her, and for once she didn't mind. 

*Just kiss him!* Her mind was crying out, and she didn't hesitate as his lips met hers properly for the first time.

As they kissed, a voice in the very back of her mind claimed victory - Angela now owed her $20.

* * * * * X * * * * *

Well, that's that over with!

I don't know about you, but I enjoyed that. See? No angst! I know it was *going to be* a UST, but sue me! I'm just too much of a shipper for my own good!

[bee_slayer@hotmail.com][2]

Your comments please...and remember, tis the season to be slushy and I LOVE YOU ALL!

sniff

* * * * * X * * * * *

"And by the way, that wasn't a lie, that was a truth" - Gary, Virgin radio. Thank you very much for telling us, I know it's hard to tell the difference sometimes.

"That was the Truth of the story" - 'Johnny Vaughn' (actually John from the Chris Moyles show doing his very good Johnny Vaughn impression), Radio 1.

persuade

   [1]: mailto:Bee_slayer@hotmail.com
   [2]: mailto:bee_slayer@hotmail.com



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